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It was suppose to be a NY Times Bestseller. Not really.

Sometimes real life is too scary. CNN Presents almost released a feature about it; they filmed me and my family five days.

They wanted to do a feature about what mid life women were really doing sexually in America: But it is still unreleased. Not ready?

For what? Women paying for sex and maybe even wanting spankings? I was a highly respected professional activist.

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We got paying women for sex know each other and I gave her a massage, although it took a while before we got down to business. I had a client before who womem me at first and later it developed into something more. But it ended because she was not happy with my job. I want to make enough money to retire early and have a nice house.

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Then he slid on a condom, and ses brain was officially benched. In the missionary position, with a little extra manual stimulation, I came quickly.

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He suggested a rest. In a normal sexual encounter, this might be the moment to pose a few background questions.

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I pointed to my face.

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He could read from my body language that I liked hand stimulation more than mouth, for example, and course-corrected without my having to say a word. It was like the difference between having a friend take your photo using paying women for sex iPhone versus getting a professional headshot with lighting and makeup. Worthwhile, if you can swing it.

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But it was definitely in the top It was a bucket-list item, but one that I could potentially revisit, paying women for sex acquire a few new between-the-sheets tricks or help realize another fantasy say, the elusive male-male-female threesome? Paying women for sex felt a little freer when I was slightly less sex-starved.

I knew that it was always there for me for a price ; ses I seemed a bit more confident.

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I was, after all, a woman with a secret.